This is so dam fucking sad. I suddenly felt like re-downloading auditionSEA during home based learning to re-live some of the best times in my pri sch and lower sec life but look at what happened. The game literally closed down in August 2018. 2018!!!! It's September 2020 and I only just found out lol. Everything is gone. My account, all the fucking acash i spent, which was a good $100-$500 in total (can't really remember a better estimate). I made so many memories there. My online life was legitly like my real life. I'm just gonna rant here cos I'm feelin' emotional now pls dun judge hahaha
AuditionSEA, the first game I became super extremely good at. No joke my skills are really very good I can prove it to anybody any day even till today. The place I had so much fun and added so many MSN friends from my FAM (is it called a FAM? Think it stands for family? Not sure, forgot alr but ya it's the guild thinggy). My first family dashDASH- which felt more like real family to me than my parents at that point of my life because I was just being a super rebellious asshole ahlian (lol yes lame) and got caned by my parents almost every single day. I met up with my fam in rl, so many cool kids who were older than me, they were in sec sch alr back then when i was in p5/6. I fell in love with one of them, let's nickname him bing (LOL FK SO EMBARASSING TO TYPE HERE) and I have to say he was my first love la he really made me fall so hard for him, he was such a very funny lad. He never failed to make me smile/laugh everyday and cheered me up no matter what happens. But yes of course I was an ignorant and clinggy bij who did not know how to handle a r/s so obviously we broke up soon after but he shattered my heart so bad I had so many dreams of him up till the last one I had was in uni, m1 or m2. I even tried to reconnect with him again in sec 2? by texting him again and lying that I gotta do a survey for my sch project by asking students from other schools to do this survey lol and yes he did reply. He literally said ok and replied exactly to the questions I texted to him for my survey and the convo died right after that. And to think that I would actually see him again in NUS Sheares hall when i was m2 lol what the fuck shocked the balls out of me, but I think he didn't see me la, dk whether I'm happy or sad over it. But ruibae I luv u ok muacks u know right LOL.
Lol ya sorry I diverted quite a lot. Let's continue from where I left off, so pri 5 or 6 right after he broke up with me, I cried and cried for so long and had so many dreams (which I woke up crying lol omg) and I think I only got over him properly in... m2? which was also my last dream of him till today. Ok sorry no diverting again!! Basically after we broke up, I asked one of my female in-game FAM friend to use her male account to couple with my account. (This friend of mine eventually studied NUS law and is a lawyer now, just sharing). I wanted to fake a boyfriend to show that I was happy, even without him. Fuck la obviously I was dam depressed la ccb LOL. But I had to continue my facade, everyday I used 2 computers to play both accounts together to boost the couple levels and upgrade rings. Of course I left the FAM which bing was the founder of, and joined higher ranking FAMs, and with that I started losing touch with many of the real friends I met in bing's FAM. I focused all my sadness and anger into building my in-game persona of being a very successful high level extremely good player who is happily married with a very high level ring and in a very high ranking FAM. Tbh I felt very empty when I was chasing these useless game rankings because I closed myself up to any potential new friends. I didn't wanna put myself in a vulnerable position, with the potential to get hurt again. It was always me myself and I, playing more than 4h everyday with the public, making sure I always get number 1 in every game, get the most exp, level up, make people jealous of my skills and ranking, etc etc. I felt very empty inside. Sad.
But life caught up, I got very busy in upper sec, and jc, I always redownloaded and played auditionSEA a bit a bit only every June/Dec holiday. I think the last I played was m1 in KE hall. But everytime I played, I played alone/with the general public, I didn't have any friends in the game anymore. It would be weird if I did la HAHAHA. Never would I have thought that that would be the last time I ever played audition. Anyway yup so this is the end of AuditionSEA. They allowed some migration/transfer of data into the new audition server which is Audition Next Level but I heard that game and server sucks and nothing much could be brought over anyway, everyone will lose all their levels, acash, anything and everything that was bought with acash, rings, couple points, FAM stuff. Yup goodbye, my very well crafted facade audition character which has protected me for so many years because I could be who I wanted to be online w/o a worry. I felt sincerely happy and free whenever I used my acc and interacted/played online.
Anyway recently I watched a youtube video of zula talk whereby they interviewed this couple who has been together for 10 years already and they met and got together through auditionsea!!! They'll probably get engaged and married soon la. What a success story. That's really nice. Sincerely happy for them :) I still can't believe I was so hung up over bing for so many years despite our official r/s being so short, only 1-2 months, and I doubt he will recognise me if I approach him now. I don't even know whether he will even remember my name..... or that someone like me ever existed in this very small portion of his life when he was sec 2 and i was p6. Sucks that I probably didn't mean even half as much as he meant to me but from the bottom of my heart, I wish him happiness in life (yes I stalked his insta cos his profile is public and he seems to be happily attached with a pretty girl). If I ever somehow get the opportunity to communicate with him again via any mean/platform, I want to say sorry for being such a xmm back then, I wasn't mature enough but thanks for helping me to grow up (in a good way)! But hey I am doing quite well myself now might I say! Got into Medicine, got attached with ruibae, formed very tight bonds with my family. Life is great for me now, I am in a very happy place :)
Alright this has been a way too long and emotional post. I have been extremely unwilling to post anything personal or heartfelt here on my blog for quite a number of years already because the Internet is a very scary place, even more so now that I am older and anything I say can be used against me in the future. And with my age, everything I say online carries much more weight. And with that, I conclude my post dedicated to AuditionSEA, which played a vital role in my life when I was much younger. Thank you and goodbye, I have 0 regrets, and will keep all these memories close to my heart forever.
P.S. no judge me pl0x tanks ppl
