Ho seh bo

(want point middle finger then say la LOL)

This semester is flying by so super fast. I have been working very hard overall this semester. Keeping up with consistent studying as well as training hard for my ccas. Sigh CA1 just ended but lessons just keep coming like bullet train and soon enough, CA2 will be coming IN MID JAN wtf. Pretty worried about lots of things esp since I'll be going to europe for the whole of december. Can't go for hall trainings, so I can't train w my team. Can't go for IVP trainings, sian I don't think I can make the team alr especially with all the exchange students coming back. Can't study also cos no matter how many times I've brought materials w me overseas to study, I never took out a single material to actually study before.

One word for December: worried.

Ascen(dance!)

ASCEN(DANCE!) 2017

Amazing, super amazing dance journey. These pictures are just snippets of the entire awesome journey. I don't even know where to start. I can't even begin to express how thankful I feel to have gone through this whole experience, and I can't even begin to express the gratitude I feel for my friends and family. Thank you, so so very thankful. I am nothing without my family and friends.

White night

Just gave Taeyang's new album a listen. His track list makes quite an interesting combo HAHAHA. Some album promotion here before I dive into the purpose of this post!!

Album: White Night
Artist: Taeyang
Track list:
1. White Night
2. WAKE ME UP
3. DARLING
4. RIDE
5. AMAZIN`
6. EMPTY ROAD
7. NAKED
8. TONIGHT (Feat. ZICO)

Overall, the album is pretty good. Anyway this is all just for fun and me being me, managed to string his song names into a queer story HHAHA. Here goes.

It was an amazing WHITE NIGHT, where Taeyang and his wife were dressed beautifully in their white wedding gown and dress. The wedding finally ended and they were tired, hence they retired for the night in their new house. Before sleeping, he said to his wife, "WAKE ME UP early the next morning, I want to see your beautiful face as soon as I can". And so they went to sleep. Early morning came and sure enough, Taeyang was woken up by his DARLING. He expressed his burning desire for his wife to RIDE him. His wife shyly agreed and we shall skip the intrinsic details here. After their R21 activity,  while still lying in their natural purest form under the blankets, Taeyang claimed to be satisfied because their first experience at this turned out to be AMAZIN'. His wife thought that he was being sarcastic and that he actually thought she was bad at it (the ride). Hence, she threw him out of their house into the EMPTY ROAD outside, while he was still NAKED. He quickly ran back and repeatedly knocked on the door, begging for forgiveness. Fortunately, she believed him and took him in, and they were back at it again TONIGHT, for their second experience 🙈😍

NO OFFENCE OK this was all just for fun and laughter!!! I hope random strangers won't be able to find this post when they google for Taeyang's White Night album, so that misunderstandings won't occur!!!!

All in all I had lots of fun writing it down, actually only took me 30s to piece the story tgt in my head LOL.

Carrots

Oh yeah late post but I got into the SUniG team. Kinda regret not trying this last year when I was more free (compared to M2) though. Really made some personal breakthroughs with regards to my personal skills in all aspects - setting, receiving, and even spiking because of ivp training. Happy :))) On the bench once again but I'm a very happy bencher because the main team is really very good and I think they really deserve it!!!

Don't know whether to continue for IVP, especially with all the SEP ppl coming back. Let's see how it goes I guess. SUniG finals tonight, then pang gang lo no more training until idk when! Ascen(dance!) concert coming soon, much excites but guilty for missing 2 weeks of wed dance prac cos every wed got sunig match. Gonna pang gang from dance soon, after 15 Oct!!!! Thankfully also pang gang from IFG last week lo!!! Still dam anal that I couldn't make it for bball semis and finals cos got sunig match. Can't wait to pang gang from everything hahaha.

The grind never stops

Omg Bobby you steal my heart everyday 💕💖💗

Thank you for releasing this album to help me get through my everyday study grind 😪

Good things fall apart so that better things can fall together (really?)

I can swear, I can joke
I say what's on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you'll see me holding up my middle finger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
'Cause I'm not just a pretty girl

I don't understand. I really don't. Sigh. You say it's definitely not because I'm incompetent but it's because you cannot trust me to work. But i always finish all work on time and of a good quality. You say it's the style. But to me it's the outcome that matters. You say to you it's the process. Well, I guess after thinking it through again by myself and talking about it to Minying, it really does make sense to work separately. I still feel dam shitty tho it's like I was cheated and I don't even know whether all the fun and laughter and good times we had together were real or not???? I'll still choose to believe they are real anyway and keep them as good memories. I feel that it's never gonna be the same again but I guess it doesn't matter to you. What does it matter to you? I'm just another person in your life you can have fun with and leave behind. It's pretty sad. It's really sad actually. Times like these make me feel so gullible and I feel like I got cheated T_T But I've always wanted only the best for you, because I thought that you deserve nothing less than that. I'm always showing care and concern for you but it's so difficult and I always get hurt when I do so. I was really feeling quite miserable as time passed by, esp end of m1 up till now. Why do I have to always subject my emotions and feelings to your mood (swings)? I do anyway, because I care for you. You're such a dear friend. But because you're so dear to me, you hurt me so much unintentionally although i know deep in your heart how much you care for me and how u always want nothing but the best for me. This is so difficult. It really is. It's so fucking sad and this whole situation hurts me so much but you say there's nothing I can do about it and it's not my fault. I just hope that this decision to separate our friendship from work and school will do us both good. I know nothing will ever be the same again but nevertheless I still hope that we can at least still have fun together occasionally like how we did in the past.

"Do you still want to be my friend?"
"I don't know, this friendship definitely's gonna take time to heal"

Fucking just kill me it's really so very sad it's even sadder than any fights/quarrels/HTHT I've ever had with any of my family/friends/ex/bf/basically whoever. How can you make me cry so much more than my bf does????????? You really mean a lot to me as a friend. Basically a very important human being in my life. I guess it's now time to detach these emotional heartstrings. I hope you'll be happier :')

As for me I'll work fucking hard on everything, be it studies, dance or volleyball. I'll become so so so capable that I won't feel condescended upon by you (even though you claim you think I'm capable). I'll live up to how competent you think I am. I really can and I will.

P.S.: So ever thankful for Minying and Wenrui.

Talking to myself

OH NOOOO NONONO MY BABY BOI IS TOUCHING SOME OTHER GIRL SO INTIMATELY HHAHHAA SHIATZ

Busy

I am so so very busy. I've been going to school (almost) everyday from morning to evening then I'll either have IFG training/IVP training/Ascendance dance prac after school EVERYDAY (for now hall training haven't start. Once hall training starts then I'll need to add 4 more training sessions to my schedule). So my schedule starts from 9am and ends at 11pm every weekday. Even on a saturday, I have dance prac in the morning followed by tuition in the afternoon till like 4pm. I only have Sunday as a totally free day. So far I've been keeping up well with studies. Oh well so many things going on in my life now and I'm trying my best to plan my time properly and navigate through so many different paths  (picture above). Lel okkkk.

P.S.: Kinda missing raybay. Thankfully being busy keeps my mind and heart off missing him too much.

Galway girl

Another amazing choreo by Koosung to another song that I really like.

The Hoe

Me: Why you knock my head, very pain leh.

Ho(e) Wenrui: Oi it's not me, stop taking picture!!! Ok la come I sayang.

Me: Walao it really hurts, sayang me more!!!

The Hoe: Ok come give u hug hehehe.

The Hoe: Dam pain ah? Eh you crying ah?

Me: YA ITS FKING PAIN, DIE BITCH DIE

The Hoe: This slut tried to kill me sia should I throw her down from here????

Me: NOOOO BABY BU YAO, I LOVE YOUUUUUU

Despite everything, our relationship is still mostly sunny ^_^

Ok

I've been watching this Koosung Jung guy for quite awhile now. He's such a charming QT omg I'm in love HAHAHA. He's really really good and his choreo is nice but all looks like cardio HAHAHAHA. Watcing these dance vids always motivate me to work on my dance and become better but I always procrastinate because I think I still look relatively shitty in the mirror and that feeling sucks. I also shy away from open classes whenever my friends jio and up till now I've not gone for a single open class. Sigh I really should take that first step and go to my first open class, heard that open classes are really good for one to improve. If I don't brush up on my basics, I'm sure I'm getting rekt for my locking and old school hip hop items for Ascendance. I don't even know how I passed the Ascendance auditions, it was a real surprise. Ok since I'm already in it, time to work on it hehehe much excites!!!

Oh and I passed my PROs without getting called. Thank goodness, all is well all is good. Gonna be quite busy for summer, especially if I join medrag again. Really thinking hard. Life decisions lellllllll.

Versace on the floor

I loved this song when I first heard it but when I looked up the lyrics I'm just like wew HAHAHAHA

Nothing to lose but everything to gain

Still one of my all time fav song.

Of all the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain

In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Oh how I love old songs!!!


PROs are coming next week and I don't feel the stress yet. CA3 was fking stressful cos I last min chiong but this time everything feels relatively ok still. I hope this continues and I hope I can follow my schedule and don't back log so much HAHAHA.

Anyway I auditioned for Dhoppers' Ascendance concert and idk how but I got in. I did not expect myself to get in at all. At all. Many good dancers didn't manage to get in. I actually feel bad and sorry, Can I really be happy? I'm actually pretty scared. I'm scared bc all those who got in are dam zai and I scared I cannot catch during pracs and I'm scared people will look down on me and think like "how did this girl even pass the audition? my friends are better than her but my friends didn't get in. what even?" I really don't want people to think that of me. I really didn't expect to pass the audition too. Dear future dancers in my item(s), pls don't be so harsh on me and pls help me LOL. I swear I will focus and concentrate and give my all and learn as best as I can!!! Excited because of all the not-so-mainstream genres that I've never really seen before and omg I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO LOCKING AND YES I PUT THAT AS MY FIRST CHOICE. I think I would want to do old school hip hop also but I looked up youtube videos and it looks so dam hard and groovy and I'm just a newbie with no groove who hasn't even danced for a year :( There's this hip hp swag which sounds dam cool but my bro says it's hard. Sigh sigh sigh oh nooooo I'm so excited yet afraid.

Here's to the best for my exams and to a new, hectic and mixed-emotion packed academic year to come.

Hold my hand

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

I guess you must be my fovea centralis, because all my focus is on you.

Are you a pulmonary embolism? 'Cause I can't breathe when I'm around you.

I experience cardiac arrhythmia every now and then because I keep falling for you over and over again.

I'll never make a promise that I can't keep

Life is still so busy after ihg cos got 5 dance pracs a week i cri. Hahaha but so fun I think I'm quite into dance recently and I feel i learn so much from every item or performance I join! Thankfully it all started with rag hahaha. Kinjaz is dam amazeballs let's just all take 3 minutes to appreciate their talent.

Shape of you

I think they like my serves a lot haha so many variations of pictures of my serves.

Kkkkkkk

After so long, another mixed kpop group came out. Interesting. I'm not very impressed by their vocals or looks but I really think the music is not bad. Kpop + EDM combined very nicely.

Oh and I'm so busy with dance recently. So many pracs per week, and DU is coming on 28/29 march yayzers. I also hope I pass my CA3 and I should probably start working hard again for pros. Kkkkkkk

2NE1

And yes it's official that 2NE1 disbanded and this is their last song :( I loved them so much back in those days, I stalked all their variety shows, put all their songs on repeat, looked up all their cool pictures on the net to download and put as my wallpaper. Goodbye my favourite girl group :( I don't think any other group can replace them in my heart but blankpink is kinda growing on me, maybe it's just bc they're from YG, idk. Or maybe it's time for me to exit the world of kpop HAHAHA maybe I old already. Old enough to know about the rivalry between se7en and rain.


Anyway this comment on their last song was so touching and it nicely summarised their beautiful journey as a group of 4 with (almost) all their songs included:

'Please don't cry', even if `It Hurts' and you feel 'Lonely'. Let the 'Fire' rise in your heart, because you 'Gotta be you'. 'If i were you', you should be 'Happy', 'Clap your hands' because 'Can't no body´ hold us down even when we'll be 'Missing you'. 'I don't care' about the haters. I'll always 'Fall in love' with 2NE1, i won't 'Go away', because i hope that someday you'll `Come back Home' and 'Crush' the world with your music again. 'I Love you' CL, Dara, Bom, Minzy, i will never 'Hate You'. 'Do you love me'? You never need to ask that, cause we BLACKJACKS will always sing 'I am the best' and we will 'Stay together' in our hearts. Even after the sad 'Goodbye' .. Thankyou 2NE1. YOU THE BEST girl group with unique ways in different styles. All the best 2NE1 . 😢

Lazy red worm

Omg my hair looks dam nice here I like.

Walao why u all laugh at me, must be that I did smth stupid again LOL.

Yucks disgusting.

"Erm guys this is not going according to plan"

^_^

是谁的眼泪, 是谁的憔悴, 洒满地的心碎

I'm very happy nowadays!!!!!