Writing???

It is so hard to write a formal email to your principal who knows you and so it's like a semi-formal email wtf i don't even know how to phrase it properly. The choice of words and tone is so hard zzz. Next. I'm starting to write my personal statement for Medicine. I've been delaying it for so long because honestly speaking, I'm scared to write. I have a phobia for essays?? I always think that it may not be good enough. I really speak better than I write. But if the first stage is to write and I fail it, I won't even be able to speak???? I always think I'm so much more than I seem to be :( I should really start feeling better about my writing and start to let my thoughts flow because I've been staring at the empty Microsoft Doc for more than 15mins. Soosian pls start to trust your writing. IT CAN BE GOOD IF U PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT. Essays kill me over and over again I swear. But my grammar is not even bad??? I think this is a mental block resulting from tons of lousy GP essays. They have crushed all my confidence to write. Because of all the stupid marks that I was so concerned about last time. Uselss and lousy marks marks MARKS WHICH DON'T EVEN MATTER because A level is only one stage of life, whereas writing takes place throughout your life.

Faith, trust and pixie trust. Go for it soosian, just write whatever you want and trust that it is the best and nothing but the best :)))))



Update: Yesssssss my pen(keyboard) is flowing. Guess I'm gonna go the sincere and genuine story writing/blogging way for my personal statement ;)

Unicorns

Batam trip with the class was nice. Hong Kong trip with the losers was great. Tan Tock Seng hospital attachment was insightful and enlightening. Going back to Malaysia with my parents to take life slow with no internet was relaxing. Taiwan trip with dogs was amazing. Life after 'A' levels has been absolutely busy and thrilling at the same time but maybe I shall blog about my trips another time.

For now, I just wanna jot down some random thoughts which have been bothering me for some time. Guys normally like pretty girls who seem to have nice personalities. Or so they think they do. Even without talking to the girl or getting to know her personally, guys are able to like that girl and admire her from afar just because she is pretty and she seems like a nice person. However, is it true that they really like that girl? Or is it just a superficial crush? Some times I really wonder what type of girls certain guys truly like (e.g after getting to know the girl and she's fun and nice without being pretty). Some times I hope guys can get out of their delusional superficial crush for pretty girls who seem nice (notice the word 'seem'). If they do not even know that girl personally then how would they know she's nice lel. And some times I feel kinda annoyed because of such stereotype crushes from guys toward those pretty girls. What happens to those girls who are not superficially pretty but have beautiful hearts? What about those unglam, fun, sporty or fun-sized girls? What about hidden  beauties who do not know/like to dress up? How about straight-forward and realistic but smart girls (these girls certainly do not appear "nice" if u do not know them personally but once u talk to them, you'll realise they're nice in a different way)? And also, what about physically and emotionally stronger girls who are independent and do not need (but doesn't mean they do not want) guys to take care of them? Sigh the world is unfair. Some times I feel like it's a crime for me to be physically stronger because guys will think I can handle everything myself and will not even offer to help me do things e.g carry my stuff. Yes it's true that I can do such things myself fine but it would feel very nice if someone offered to help me. Anyway, I'll reject the help because honestly I can manage myself but I'll feel extremely happy because of the offer. It's the thought that counts.

Well, sometimes I wish I was a lil' superficially prettier. But I'm just saying it for the sake of saying it la, I don't really mean it. I'm still very happy and satisfied with who I am so ya I'm just feeling indignant for some other girls HAHAHAHA what even. Ok. This post may sound a bit biased but IT'S MY BLOG SO I WRITE WHAT I WANT LEL.