还在期待会有奇迹出现

我们都傻

傻在为一段没有未来的爱情付出

还在期待会有奇迹出现 

I actually know it. I have realised it for awhile. I just refused to believe it and I refused to acknowledge it. When am I going to embrace the truth? Next time, one more time, one last try, I always tell myself. It was so good and so great for a short period of time, and I really thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated that. But it has slowly faded to just (lack of) effort which stems from the (lack of) emotions. Are all those really dead and gone, all in the past? I still cannot believe that everything faded and ended so fast when they were going good for awhile. This is so heartbreaking.

Where did it go wrong? Is it my fault? What could I have done differently to maintain things when they were beautiful? If I could rewind time, what should I have done more and what should I have not done? Who will have the answer to these? I really do not know. But what I do know is that I have tried my best, and I realised that my efforts have ironically been pushing you away further. Hence logically speaking I should stop. But if I stop, that may or may not bring you back but I myself will drift away. Should I let go? I am afraid to let go. Will you let go? I am afraid that you will let me go. So I will just let it be and see where the tide takes us.